Thunderhead
“It’s storming in Chicago,” calls the mother to her son,
who already knows—he can see the thunderhead,
black and towering, gliding above the corn fields.
It’s miles away now, in Illinois, but his Hoosier blood
stirs with the approach of another Midwestern storm.
While she reflexively checks the radio
for tornado warnings, he runs between the cornstalks,
feeling the first teasing breezes on the outskirts
of the front. The field is empty otherwise; the cardinals
have already found shelter, as have the pasture deer.
She calls to him, but knows he is safe for now,
and remembers what it was like to run through corn fields,
letting the leaves slap against tanned arms and legs,
tasting the ozone tang of the distant lightning
and hearing, just barely, the tolling thunder.
He thinks of glaciers he’s seen in schoolbooks:
slow, inexorable (though he does not know that word),
and wonders if a glacier announces its coming, too,
the way the storm air weighs down an afternoon.
He samples the idea of a high-pressure chill.
But he does not appreciate the synesthesia,
and the nascent poem glides from consciousness,
so he can revel, unhindered, before the storm.
Years later, he will remember the thunderhead,
the cornfields, and over Chicago, the distant lightning.













Comments
The poem doesn't follow any forms and really i am glad it doesn't, else i can't imagine it being so... well... natural. Great job man.
--
-Chloe closes her eyes as she shits in his lap and drifts back to sleep muttering 'I love you's to him.-
Aaron says:
i'm sorry?
Chloe says:
x.x
Chloe says:
shifts*
Chloe says: lol
Chloe says: oops
However, I disagree with his final statements about form. Your poem comes in stanzas of five lines, meaning it has something structured about it. But then again, doesn't lightning? Light first, sound later. Light first, sound later. And then the old saying, "Lightning never strikes twice in the same place," no matter how true or false it is. It is still said.
--
AKA ~007-crazynloveless
take off your -3 armour of "frigid bitch" and ill give you my +4 "phallace of mount doom" baby
--
AKA ~007-crazynloveless
take off your -3 armour of "frigid bitch" and ill give you my +4 "phallace of mount doom" baby
--
-Chloe closes her eyes as she shits in his lap and drifts back to sleep muttering 'I love you's to him.-
Aaron says:
i'm sorry?
Chloe says:
x.x
Chloe says:
shifts*
Chloe says: lol
Chloe says: oops
The first two stanzas fell into being 5 lines, and so I kept it throughout, a sort of form-of-the-moment deicision--in the second-to-last stanza, I had to reword to keep it in 5, leading to a tighter and in my opinion better expression of that concept. Funny how things work that way.
And, oddly for me, this poem is somewhat autobiographical (most of my poems tend to be more on the fictional side, odd as that may be for a poet)--I don't ever remember thinking about glaciers, but I do remember watching the Chicago storms from Indiana, and I certainly remember running through cornfields.
Note: Should I axe the "high" in L3? It seems redundant to me right now.
And I didn't think about that...there is a form to lightning, as chaotic and random as it may seem.
I'm glad for the confirmation--I thought maybe I'd gone too far into a hokey romanticization. Really glad.
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